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For Those Who Need Mnemonics

The following is from my 10th grade US History class. Sing the following lyrics to the tune of “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie.

Welcome to the Cold War!
We’re here to prevent the Soviet advance.
Welcome to the Cold War, we’re working with France

France is having problems
And we’re paying for their war in Vietnam
France is having problems, what could possibly go wrong?

Now the war is over
And there are now 2 different Vietnams
Now the war is over, what could possibly go wrong?

But it’s still the Cold War!
And the Soviets are taking over everything!
But it’s still the Cold War! Let’s stop the spreading!

Ike says they have dominoes
And we must support those who are still free
Ike says they have dominoes, and that’s good enough for me

We will go advise them
We will help them stand up to the Viet Cong
We will go advise them, this shouldn’t take long

We are dropping bombs now
Soon there will be no more Viet Cong
We are dropping bombs now, this shouldn’t take long

The bombs were insufficient
Now we have to use guerilla warfare
The bombs were insufficient, but we’ll continue this affair

JFK is dead now
And Johnson is president of the USA
JFK is dead now, this was not a good day

They have attacked us
They sank our battleships in the gulf of Tonkin
They have attacked us, and we’re all going in

This war is getting long now
And the casualty count is going up
This war is getting long now, maybe we should give up

The public isn’t happy
They vocally oppose our war policies
The public isn’t happy, perhaps it’s time to retreat

Drafts are being dodged now
College students everywhere are protesting
Drafts are being dodged now, and they’re rioting

They have attacked us
They attacked every city in South Vietnam
They have attacked us, our credibility’s gone

Nixon’s been elected
He says that it’s time for Vietnamization
Nixon’s been elected, and we’re leaving that nation

We’ve got a peace treaty
We’re officially getting out of Vietnam
We’ve got a peace treaty, now we’ll finally be done

Now they’ve taken Saigon
North Vietnam has won the war
Now they’ve taken Saigon, and we’re out the door

Supposedly they’re communist
But it’s really run more like a company
Supposedly they’re communist, but they still like money

Once this is in your head, don’t be surprised if it takes a while to get back out. Though that might help on a history test.


In Which Christian Pop Is Made Fun Of Mightily

My sister and I just copied the lyrics to Christian Pop songs into a text file and wrote a program to randomly recombine the lines (this was later changed to use markov chains). We now present to you some of the results.

We made all the titles and none of the lyrics.

For Extremely Early Risers

May I dwell in Your courts, O Lord, 
There to flourish like the trees of Lebanon
Planted in the house of Adonai there to live forevermore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.
6:30 Monday morning
Joy beyond the tears
Your Word
I tried to find anything I could
Release the very guilt that was in my mind,
But every time that I'd trace these lines,
When the waters rise,
And I run to hide,
When I lay it down I realize that
This twisted road eventually, is gonna lead you back to Me

Ice melts to reveal a frozen soul
And give a heart the only thing
Yesterday felt like it would never end
We sing Hallelujah
We worship in awe
Immortal, invisible God
Who died and rose again

Like the stars
Your Word
Lord I stand in wonder
And my world
With one desire
Words heart when they come from an empty heart
And the tears rolling down - (oh yeah)
All I'm looking for now
How glorious, how beautiful you are.

Not on Vulcan Anymore, Toto

Please don't run from me
Savior, You kept the faith in me
And I fall into a daydream
don't know what all of this means
Oh, is it love?
Logic is slipping away
In a moment his life could be new

But You were there, You gave me strength
So this little one might come to know
The glory of Your name, Your name
Cannot be silent, we will praise
The glories of my God and king
You don’t owe me anything my God No.

Awake my soul to sing
A song of living sacrifice

Aren't afraid, aren't ashamed Lord we know who we are
We are your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
it's always the obvious that crashes over me
I will hold Your people in my heart
There was You and there was me
Cause you know what I need

Let faith arise
Open my eyes, open my eyes

Like the stars

This was her time
This is your dance
She swam in the sea

On the Co-occurrence of the Crucifixion and the Nativity

'Cause I'm free
From our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in Thee
Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth Thou art
Dear desire of every nation, joy of every lonely heart
Is torn asunder
And my world
Has been reborn
I'll be there
All is well, all is well 
Lift up your voice and sing 
Born is now Emmanuel 
Born is our Lord and Savior 
Sing Alleluia 

Joy to the World Just Falls Apart in Kentucky

You're all to us

In every lonely night of waiting
Chains have been undone and we are singing
Joy to the world
Just falls apart
Lord You put
Me back together
No one is a stranger
Love that covers sin

I confess, I admit
I look for life outside of You
I will praise You
To You
We will cry out
Scattered words and empty thoughts
Coming up the driveway
For another Christmas in Kentucky
It’s Christmas in LA
In the desperate streets of India
And the African plains

To know that you hear ever cry I raise to you
Your there when I fall
Open up by heart, we would know You
I give it all to You
And all of creation gives You praise
We're living for Your glory Lord

Our original idea was that Christian Pop is frequently so vague and repetitive that we could probably get things that sounded like real songs by doing this. But then we started doing it and found that the results were funny enough by themselves and mostly forgot our previous goal.

All Songs Used

  • Hillsong United
    • More Than Anything
    • Evermore
    • My Future Decided
    • Captain
    • Lift
    • Stay And Wait
    • Where The Love Lasts Forever
    • Saviour King
    • Take All Of Me
    • You Deserve
    • Oceans
  • Matt Maher
    • Your Grace Is Enough / Here I Am Lord
    • Jesus, My Everything
    • You Were On The Cross
    • For Your Glory
    • Abide With Me
    • Empty & Beautiful
    • It Is Good
    • Sons And Daughters
    • Come To The Water
    • Leave A Light On
    • Lamb Of God
  • Building 429
    • One Time Too Many
    • Back To Me
    • No One Else Knows
    • Grace That Is Greater
    • Glory Defined
    • Because You’re Mine
    • Not Gonna Let You Down
    • Free
    • Always
    • Your Love Goes On
  • Chris Tomlin
    • Jesus, My Redeemer
    • The Noise We Make
    • Sing, Sing, Sing
    • Tell Me Who
    • I Lift My Hands
    • Let God Arise
    • All To Us
    • Our God
    • This Is Our God
    • Forever
  • Jeremy Camp
    • You Never Let Go
    • Everytime
    • We Cry Out
    • I Still Believe
    • Perfect Love
    • Everything
    • Understand
    • Let It Fade
    • ‘Til The End
    • Beautiful One
  • Steven Curtis Chapman
    • Love You With My Life
    • O Come, O Come Emmanuel
    • Dive
    • Hiding Place
    • Love And Learn
    • We Belong Together (Tarzan And Jane)
    • I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
    • Christmas In Kentucky
    • Angels From The Realms Of Glory
    • Moment Made For Worshipping
  • Tenth Avenue North
    • Just Getting By
    • Beloved
    • Lovesick
    • Devotion
    • No Man Is An Island
    • I Confess
    • You Don’t Owe Me
    • What You Want
    • The Struggle
    • Heaven’s Sound
  • Michael W. Smith
    • More Love, More Power
    • Christmastime
    • In Silence
    • Leave
    • This Is Your Time
    • Restless Heart
    • I’m Gone
    • Hang On
    • Live Forever
    • All Is Well
  • Phil Wickham
    • Jesus, Lord Of Heaven
    • High Above
    • Children Of God
    • Coming Alive
    • Better Than Life
    • Starmaker (High Above The Earth)
    • Eden
    • Heaven Fall Down
    • When My Heart Is Torn
    • Messiah
  • Laura Story
    • Give You Faith
    • O Come All Ye Faithful
    • Behold The Lamb Of God
    • Whisper
    • Awake My Soul (A 1000 Tongues)
    • Grace Abounds
    • Immortal, Invisible
    • You Are Love
    • Majesty
    • Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

We got all the lyrics themselves from

A Lullaby

While watching The Return of the King with my Mom and my sister, one of us began singing a bit. The tune was determined to be that of the song Good Night Ladies and the lyrics were:

Oh crap Nazgûl
Oh crap Nazgûl
Oh crap Nazgûl
They're coming to get us now

An excellent lullaby, don’t you think?

Homo Erectian

I came across some research notes today concerning a language spoken by a certain tribe of Homo Erectus in northern Germany roughly 5 hundred thousand years ago.


Vowels: /a/, /o/, /u/
Consonants: /b/, /d/, /g/, /β/, /ʒ/, /h/, /m/, /n/, /ŋ/
I transcribe /β/ as “v”, /ʒ/ as “zh”, and /ŋ/ as “ng”
Syllable structure appears to be (C)V(C) with a tendency for word-medial clusters to contain a nasal.


Word order was VSO. Verb phrases were verb-auxilliary-adverb. Noun phrases were number-noun-adjective-prepositional phrases.


Auxiliary Verbs

banana – question
dab – imperative
muvungab – attempt, try to ___


ngo – about, concerning
zham – in, at
zhou – of, from


ag – and


na – na – 1
da – da – 2
zhu – zhu – 3
go – go – 4
hazh – hazh – 5 (also means “hand”)
hazhg’na – hazh ag na – 6
hazhg’da – hazh ag da – 7
hazhu – hazh ag zhu – 8
hazhgo – hazh ag go – 9
dazh – da hazh – 10
dazhg’na – da hazh ag na – 11
dazhg’da – da hazh ag da – 12
dazhu – da hazh ag zhu – 13
dazhgo – da hazh ag go – 14
zhuhazh – zhu hazh – 15
zhuhazhg’na – zhu hazh ag na – 16
zhuhazhg’da – zhu hazh ag da – 17
zhuhazhu – zhu hazh ag zhu – 18
zhuhazhgo – zhu hazh ag go – 19
gohazh – go hazh – 20
gohazhg’na – go hazh ag na – 21
gohazhg’da – go hazh ag da – 22
gohazhu – go hazh ag zhu – 23
gohazhgo – go hazh ag go – 24
hazhazh – hazh hazh – 25

Transitive Verbs

ahumvub – greet
amagono – thank
amhazhmu – remember
avbazh – fill
avong – wait for
ba – go to
bahohu – tell
bozhu – happen
bunuv – surround
duazha – kill
gahu – grab
gazh – hit
goada – spear
guado – throw
gumnam – climb
hoho – hear
mam – punch
mav – keep
mobodom – finish
mumbuzha – smell
nomzhad – bite
nu – is same the same as
nuam – gather
obman – hold
odma – watch
ongmav – be underneath
ud – see
udnagazh – join
vo – is
vodovum – send
zhoha – have
zhozhuzhov – darken

Intransitive Verbs

abnomo – be silent
bavmav – sit
bazha – hide
buabo – return
dauno – sing
doazhan – jump
doazhugo – fly
duvma – stand
goug – drink
hangun – nap
gav – run
mododuv – leave
momavab – rumble
navgo – awake
vamuzhgan – settle down
vumgov – yell


amngab – grass
bababob – vicinity, area around
baguv – reason for doing something
bam – hurt, pain
bonzhun – event
buda – stream
bumo – snow
bumo-vadan – snowmelt
davungo – hunting-party
doahbuodma – blood
doda – herd, indicate plurals with “doda zhou” (herd of)
dog – the past
gaga – rock
gagudo – stone-throw
goada – spear
gumnam-nobo – climbing-tree, tree that is good for climbing
hamnahu – clearing
hazh – hand
hogu – edge
homu – camp
mambubu – situation
monamba – head
mudumo – midday
mumbo – nose
nobo – tree
nomgado – tongue
nomnohu – piece of meat
nomnom – piece of food
nomvu – mouth
ombod – the period of time following something
onuam – sister
sua – side
uduzh – person
uvgom – eye
vodom – water
vonaod – leaf
vum – day (sunrise to sunset)
vumva – fire
vunuab – early-riser
vuzhadan – sparrow
vuzhma – cook
vuzhun – vision
zhog – stomach
zhovoda – auroch
zhub – bird


amugom – large
anab – complete
bauo – other
buvu – cold
duaha – dead
govo – loud
guo – more
ngada – happy
ngavu – strong
umonub – white
vonuv – green
vova – long
vovu – tall
zhamub – nearby


dauzha – very
go – like
govo – loudly
guo – more
mobag – now
mubzhad – previously
ngago – still
ngavu – strongly, tightly
nozha – not

Sample Text

This is taken from an interview I had with a Homo Erectus named Nomnomguo (“one who eats a lot”).

vo bumo-vadan gohazhu vum zham dog. navgo Nomnomguo. nomnogda Nomnomguo. ba Nomnomguo buda zhou sua bauo zhou homu. goug Nomnomguo. vo vodom buvu dauzha. navgo dauzha Nomnomguo. nomnogda ngago Nomnomguo.

is snow-melt 4-hand-and-3 day in past. awake Eat-much. hungers Eat-much. go-to Eat-much stream of side other of camp. drink Eat-much. is water cold very. awake very Eat-much. hungers still Eat-much.

23 days after the snow melted, Much-eater woke up and was hungry. He walked over to the stream on the other side of the camp and drank. The water was very cold. Now he was very awake. And still hungry.

A Motto for Thing-making

“If at first you don’t succeed, try failing epically.” – me, 02016-02-26

Inter-Lingual Personal Script

Do you ever get annoyed that the IPA has holes in it? Do you ever wish it was a bit more featural? Do you ever get lonely while writing phonetic transcriptions?

So did I, and that’s why I’ve created The Inter-Lingual Personal Script (ILPS).



  • Featural
  • Extensible
  • Intuitive1
  • Composed almost entirely of stick figures


Stick figures facing left indicate voiceless consonants, while those facing right indicate voiced consonants. Direction of facing is either the side on which they hold their tool or the side toward which they are pointing both arms.


s, z, χ, v

Plosives wear top hats, trills wear halos, taps wear crowns, fricatives keep their heads uncovered, approximants have horns, and clicks wear pointy wizard hats.


p, ʙ, voiced uvular tap, ɣ, ɻ, ʘ

Nasal sounds have long beards, laterals are fat, ingressives wear boots, aspirates have ears, and ejectives have hair.


ŋ, l, ddwo3, tʰ, tʼ

Bimanual sounds carry triangles, faciomanuals carry axes, bilabials carry swords, labiodentals carry clubs, interdentals carry torches, alveolars are unarmed, postalveolars carry balls, retroflex have canes, palatals have staffs, velars have megaphones, uvulars like balloons, pharyngeals deliver pizza, and glottals are archers.


bimanual click, faciomanual click, m, v, ð, s, ʒ, ʐ, ʝ, ɣ, ʕ, h


Vowels are dead stick figures. Head to the left means unrounded and head to the right means rounded. Curled upwards means tense and flat means lax.


i, y, ɪ, ʏ

Front vowels have been stabbed with a sword, back vowels have been shot with an arrow, and central vowels get both.


a, ɨ, ɯ

High vowels wear a top hat like plosives, mid vowels wear crowns like taps, and low vowels go bareheaded like fricatives.


ɪ, ɛ, low back lax unrounded

Other Things

Glides are written as upright vowels.


j, w

Syllabic consonants are written as lying down consonants.


ɹ̩, n̩

Syllable boundaries can be written as brick walls. Primary stress is indicated by putting a double wall on either side of a syllable.



Tone is marked with birds overhead. The first bird defines the midpoint, and the other birds define the contour. A single bird may be used to indicate any hatatory components of the utterance.




Language Word ILPS
kay(f)bop(t) sa(f)pof(t)sob(t)vas(p)sal(p) kaybop
English4 floccinaucinihilipilification5 Forthcoming6
Sajem Tan decekžutthnu sajemtan


The objectively superior phone is now clearly the nasalized palatal click, as can easily be seen:


voiced nasalized palatal click

There is also an IPA-to-ILPS translator which can be found here. There is also a font here.


  1. It is perfectly comprehensible to me, which should make it intuitive to everyone, but some people are weird2. return
  2. By “some people” I mean nearly everyone I have ever met. return
  3. Image source return
  4. Apparently English is not important enough to have an official website. return
  5. Spelling and exact pronunciation taken from return
  6. The component stick figures rebelled. return

Yemnare’ Case System

Yemnarol has 16 cases, which are:

Nominative Transitory Pangolinic Dative -hoho
Accusative -ar Permanent Pangolinic Dative -ho’o
Genitive -main Transitory Pangolinic Accusative -gal
Dative -az Pangolinic Vocative -yev
Vocative -yave Mutiverbic Nominative -ol
Locative -ze Mutiverbic Accusative -dep
Subessive -uv Mutiverbic Genitive -e’
Superessive -nag Mutiverbic Prepositional -kai

The nominative, accusative, genitive, dative, vocative, and locative function much the same as in various other languages.

The subessive and superessive are roughly equivalent to “below” and “above”, respectively.

The pangolinic cases are used when the sentence in question is connected to pangolins.

The mutiverbic cases are employed when using Yemnare’ nouns in other languages.